What are Marshmallows Made of?


Corn syrup: Such a naughty ingredient that it’s trying to change its name. I wanted to change my name to Estella Louise, once. I carved the name on a picnic table the summer I was twenty-one.

Sugar: Equals love.

Dextrose: This is definitely a diet aid.

Modified Food Starch (Corn): We roasted marshmallows over the campfire on sticks. I was always afraid that someone’s flaming mallow would land in my eye; perhaps I saw this on a movie. Marshmallows are actually really gross when you think about it; it’s like eating someone’s science project. But roasting them over the campfire is an American pastime. Who invented the marshmallow?

Water: According to WikiAnswers, there’s a plant called Marsh-Mallow that grows in salt marshes on banks near large bodies of water…and Marshmallow candy dates back to ancient Egypt.

Gelatin: That stuff made of horse hooves.

Natural and Artificial Flavor: Everything comes from something, doesn’t it?

Tetrasodium Pyrophosphate: A myth about dinosaurs written by ancient Egyptians in pictures carved on cave walls near a special tomb.

Blue 1: The first stage of post-marshmallow consumption starting about fifteen minutes post-inhalation.

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